A (Gypsy) Wedding

I am not one for reality shows because, more often than not, they are just bits and pieces that form an altered reality. If I had to choose one reality program, though, I would quickly choose TLC's My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. This show is fascinating beyond words. The first time I watched this program I actually caught myself with my mouth agape and not just once or even twice but at least four times!  Something about these women, well girls actually, was so captivating, vexing and witty that I could not shut it off.

It is amazing that this Gypsy, or Traveler lifestyle is so secretive and yet so publicly frowned upon. The culture, while extraordinary and  enigmatic, is pure in the simplest form. The young are forbidden to have pre-marital sex, the girls are seldom allowed to venture outside the home without an entourage of family members and rarely go to school once they reach the age of twelve or so. The girls are taught nearly from infancy that they will be mothers, wives and home makers. The biggest aspirations that these girls have is to have the biggest, most fanciful wedding, while the boys know how to work hard, provide and are nearly bread to fight. While some of these cultural symptoms seem lopsided and somewhat primitive, I think there is something to be said for raising children in a small family community where parents are respected as well as somewhat feared.

The weddings are somewhat simple Catholic ceremonies but the dresses, WHEW! Some are as heavy as 270 pounds, all are nearly twice the weight of the young bride wearing them! The girls, while young, are not forced to marry at an early age, nor are they in arranged marriages like so many other cultures. They simply know that if they wait until they are in their early twenties to marry, they are considered old by the Traveling community. Most of the young women have never been away from their family homes, weather a caravan or a brick and mortar style, and find their weddings to be melancholy as well as fun. The tears are as big as the dresses, it seems, and I can't help but feel empathy for them as they make their transition from girl to wife. I cannot seem to make out where childhood fits into the equation but it seems that this is what the girls know is waiting for them after the big dress is put away.

As far as the "real" reality goes, I have little doubt that there is cinematic magic happening in the studio before the show actually airs, but I think there is a magical, forbidden and slightly sad mixture that lures me in each week to watch more of this fascinating and enigmatic underground culture.